We do it all the time. We say “yes” to people when we really mean to say “no.” For some reason, most of us think we should put other people’s wants and needs first; that our wants and needs are secondary.

Saying YesI agonize over this nearly everyday. Logically, I know it is not in my best interest to take care of others first. Even airlines reinforce this logic when explaining what to do if the oxygen is depleted in the cabin: Put your air mask on first, then put it on the child next to you. That’s right, you can’t help someone else if you’re incapacitated.

I secretly want to, but I cringe at the thought of taking care of myself first.  There’s a list of others that are so much more important: My husband, my children, my clients, my employer, my friends, my dog, my cat, strangers on the street, strangers who send me e-mail, strangers who find my cell phone number and call me. Then there’s me.

Where did this guilt originate?  Why do I let it continue?

Rather than say “no” to everyone,  I’ve developed a hermit lifestyle — a protective barrier that effectively keeps people away and from asking me to do things for them. Some folks worry about my reclusive behavior. They opine it’s not healthy.  Then they come for a short visit, see my awesome home office and how much work I’m able to produce if they just let me be. They leave envious, wondering how they can achieve the same distance.

I know the challenge isn’t to run away from people; it’s to not put yourself in their clutches in the first place.

Am I living life on my own selfish terms? Yep.

Do I feel guilty about it? Yep.

But I refill my coffee cup and pull up the next project and soldier on, my dog at my feet and a gorgeous view out my window. And I smile even though there’s nobody here to see me.

Creative Commons License
Saying ‘Yes’ When You Mean ‘No’ by Robin Van Auken is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-ShareAlike 3.0 Unported License.
Based on a work at http://www.robinvanauken.com.

Ready for a Challenge?

21-Day Writing Sprint Challenge by Robin Van Auken

Have even more fun when you accept the 21-Day Writing Sprint Challenge. This process is one I use every semester with my college students, so I know it can kickstart your creativity and introduce structure to your writing schedule. When you join my Circle of Writers & Authors, you’ll receive FREE writing resources, and you’ll sign up for my newsletter. I will not sell your information, or spam you. I will send you updates about new articles and podcasts I’ve created, and projects I’m working on. You can unsubscribe at anytime. Read my Privacy Policy here.

Accept the Challenge

Wholehearted Author is for you if you are …

  • Starting out as a writer and could use some guidance
  • Wanting to be inspired to create and publish your book
  • Looking for like-minded, happy people and helpful mentors
  • Hoping to turn your writing into a full-time, awesome career
  • New to the concept of “permission marketing” but willing to try
Send My Free Writing Resources
Free Resources by Robin Van Auken the Wholehearted Author

CATCH THE WEST WIND

Add WEST WIND to your library!

Because free writing resources from
Wholehearted Author are not enough!

If you love a good mystery, a romantic whodunit that will surprise you, then WEST WIND is a great addition to your ebook library.

West Wind is my third novel as an author of Contemporary Fiction, Suspense, Thriller, and Romance.  It’s FREE too, when you join my exclusive Readers Group. Members of the Readers Group receive free novels, invitations to read advance copies, as well as illustrated character profiles and behind-the-scenes articles about Eaton and its quirky residents.

Join today and download your free book, and as a special thank you, you’ll receive a SECOND FREE BOOK tomorrow! The giving goes on and on when you become my fan.

When you join my Readers Group, you’ll receive FREE writing resources, and you’ll sign up for my newsletter. I will not sell your information, or spam you. I will send you updates about new articles and podcasts I’ve created, and projects I’m working on. You can unsubscribe at anytime. Read my Privacy Policy here.

Free book: West Wind by Robin Van Auken the Wholehearted Author
DOWNLOAD WEST WIND