May 21 came and went and we did not experience the predicted Rapture, but we’re still on alert for a Zombie Apocalypse.Zombie - Be prepared

(See my blog entry “Shoot! It’s Either Judgment Day or a Zombie Apocalypse.”)

You’ll recall that while some Christians kissed their loved ones goodbye and were waiting for Judgment (thank you Family Radio Worldwide for that scare), the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention was busy handing out emergency guidelines for an impending Zombie Apocalypse. Not that the nation’s prominent scientists think Zombies are a real hazard, but it turns out the supplies you need to survive an outbreak is similar to ones you should already have on hand for hurricanes, tornadoes, blizzards, drought, dog bites, etc.

I suggested that in the event of a catastrophe, you have a few eBooks on hand (including my novel, “Distracted“). I still think it’s a good idea, but now I’d like to discuss which eReader you should own at Zero Hour.

Despite all the other tablets on the market and smartphones with awesome connectivity, I’m going to this eReader vs. eReader review simple and classic: Kindle vs. iPad.

Excuse the irreverence, but if you’re swept up in the Rapture, disappearing from this Earth in the blink of an eye, having Amazon’s Kindle in your pocket might be better than Apple’s iPad.

The biggest reason is battery life. If you’ve got a Kindle, then you already know it can last up to two months if you turn off the wi-fi. The iPad lasts about 10 hours. No contest. You can read a lot of eBooks in two months before your battery dies.

A portable solar charger levels the battery life-playing field, assuming you’ve been swept up into Heaven, because you can keep the Kindle and iPad charged until you’ve exhausted your entire library, but again, assuming you’re in Heaven it’s much easier to read a Kindle in bright sunlight. There’s too much glare on the iPad.

But, if you’re caught up in a Zombie Apocalypse, then the iPad wins hands down.

Think about it — you’ll need some hefty resources to outsmart, outmaneuver and outgun a Zombie (especially the really fast ones from “28 Days Later“). Even with wi-fi, the Amazon Kindle has limited (experimental) Internet connectivity and with E Ink you can’t tell black from blood red.

Behold the iPad in All Its Glory (Copyright Glenn Fleishman)

The iPad (if you have 3G wi-fi) will give you access to Wikipedia articles that could keep you alive, as well as Google Maps, which you’ll need for planning escape routes. Using your Kindle app on the iPad, you can download a digital copy of the “Anarchist Cookbook” so you can devise weapons to defend yourself against the monsters coming your way.

You can use the Netflix app on the iPad to watch “Zombieland” and memorize the rules for surviving (cardio, the double tap, beware of bathrooms, etc.), or if all else fails, download “Shaun of the Dead” and learn how to live with your Zombie friends.

Of course, this is satire but don’t be too complacent about Zombies. Take a look at Penn State University’s latest research on Zombie Ants and a fungus that infects the brain.

The CDC is right — it is better to be safe than sorry. Use this CDC list when gathering supplies and don’t forget to include the eReader of your choice in your emergency preparedness kit.


(Photos courtesy of Wikimedia Commons)
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Choosing the Perfect eReader for the Zombie Apocalypse by Robin Van Auken is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NoDerivs 3.0 Unported License.
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